How Does Fear of Failure Contribute to Social Anxiety?
Some people are introverts. They might be shy and prefer to keep a low profile. There’s nothing wrong with having a small social circle and letting others do the bulk of the talking. That said, there can be unhealthy reasons for keeping to yourself. Shyness is a normal personality quirk. Social anxiety is a diagnosable disorder. Over time, it’s been found that a common driving force behind social anxiety is a fear of failure.
Fear of failure isn’t a diagnosis, but it can result in the same type of distorted thought patterns. As a result, you can feel stuck and unable to pursue your goals and dreams. Let’s look closer at this connection.
Social Anxiety
One of several different types of anxiety disorders, social anxiety commonly manifests in ongoing, unrealistic stress related to your place in the world. You can begin to believe you are being watched and judged harshly. Social interactions — especially with strangers — are a source of dread that must be avoided at all costs. If left unchecked, social anxiety embeds irrational beliefs that make it increasingly more difficult to fulfill basic daily functioning.
Fear of Failure
Someone with social anxiety will go to great lengths to avoid feeling embarrassed. If this sounds like a fear of failure, well, it is. Social anxiety is more pervasive, while fear of failure can be far more centered on specific efforts and accomplishments.
The Overlap
Fear of failure and social anxiety may share some of the same causes (trauma being a big one), and here are some of the symptoms that often overlap:
You rely on black-and-white thinking — either you succeed or you fail
Such all-or-nothing thought patterns naturally create a strong of worst-case scenarios in your mind
Unreachable expectations are set, not just for you but for other people in your life
Rather than risk being judged, you become a people-pleaser
How Does Fear of Failure Contribute to Social Anxiety?
Procrastination
The “logic” of these two problems will try to convince you that you can’t be judged or embarrassed if you never do anything that can be judged or embarrassed. Avoidance, withdrawal, and procrastination become the norm. Unfortunately, once you embrace such choices, you may begin to worry that you’re being judged for them. When you’re stuck in this limbo, life can get lonely.
Controlling Behaviors
When things seem ready to spiral, it’s very tempting to revert to controlling circumstances — and, sometimes, other people. If only everything and everyone would line up as you wish, you’d never have to take a risk or be pushed out of your comfort zone. In the short term, this futile effort can appear as if it’s working. However, it always ends up making things feel less safe for you.
Interpersonal Problems
To sustain healthy relationships and close friendships, you must be willing to let your guard down. Without vulnerability, there will always be some distance between you and others. Unless you can do the work to relieve social anxiety/fear of failure, you are trading dread for loneliness.
Both Social Anxiety and Fear of Failure Can Be Treated
Healing can begin the moment you stop seeing the need for treatment as “failure.” This, of course, is easier said than done. That’s why the most powerful first step might be to just talk with a professional. Get a free, confidential consultation to learn more. It could be the most important call of your life.
In the privacy of an anxiety therapist’s office, you can take those first steps toward accepting the need for change. You can cultivate the self-awareness you need to keep taking steps toward a more rich and fulfilling life.