How Does Fear of Failure Contribute to Social Anxiety?

Some people are introverts. They might be shy and prefer to keep a low profile. There’s nothing wrong with having a small social circle and letting others do the bulk of the talking. That said, there can be unhealthy reasons for keeping to yourself. Shyness is a normal personality quirk. Social anxiety is a diagnosable disorder. Over time, it’s been found that a common driving force behind social anxiety is a fear of failure.

Fear of failure isn’t a diagnosis, but it can result in the same type of distorted thought patterns. As a result, you can feel stuck and unable to pursue your goals and dreams. Let’s look closer at this connection.

Social Anxiety

One of several different types of anxiety disorders, social anxiety commonly manifests in ongoing, unrealistic stress related to your place in the world. You can begin to believe you are being watched and judged harshly. Social interactions — especially with strangers — are a source of dread that must be avoided at all costs. If left unchecked, social anxiety embeds irrational beliefs that make it increasingly more difficult to fulfill basic daily functioning.

Fear of Failure

Someone with social anxiety will go to great lengths to avoid feeling embarrassed. If this sounds like a fear of failure, well, it is. Social anxiety is more pervasive, while fear of failure can be far more centered on specific efforts and accomplishments.

The Overlap

Fear of failure and social anxiety may share some of the same causes (trauma being a big one), and here are some of the symptoms that often overlap:

  • You rely on black-and-white thinking — either you succeed or you fail

  • Such all-or-nothing thought patterns naturally create a strong of worst-case scenarios in your mind

  • Unreachable expectations are set, not just for you but for other people in your life

  • Rather than risk being judged, you become a people-pleaser

How Does Fear of Failure Contribute to Social Anxiety?

Procrastination

The “logic” of these two problems will try to convince you that you can’t be judged or embarrassed if you never do anything that can be judged or embarrassed. Avoidance, withdrawal, and procrastination become the norm. Unfortunately, once you embrace such choices, you may begin to worry that you’re being judged for them. When you’re stuck in this limbo, life can get lonely.

Controlling Behaviors

When things seem ready to spiral, it’s very tempting to revert to controlling circumstances — and, sometimes, other people. If only everything and everyone would line up as you wish, you’d never have to take a risk or be pushed out of your comfort zone. In the short term, this futile effort can appear as if it’s working. However, it always ends up making things feel less safe for you.

Interpersonal Problems

To sustain healthy relationships and close friendships, you must be willing to let your guard down. Without vulnerability, there will always be some distance between you and others. Unless you can do the work to relieve social anxiety/fear of failure, you are trading dread for loneliness.

Both Social Anxiety and Fear of Failure Can Be Treated

Healing can begin the moment you stop seeing the need for treatment as “failure.” This, of course, is easier said than done. That’s why the most powerful first step might be to just talk with a professional. Get a free, confidential consultation to learn more. It could be the most important call of your life.

In the privacy of an anxiety therapist’s office, you can take those first steps toward accepting the need for change. You can cultivate the self-awareness you need to keep taking steps toward a more rich and fulfilling life.

About Kathryn Bowen MS, LCPC: Kathryn (Kittie) Bowen MS, LCPC, is a licensed therapist and founder and director of Bozeman Counseling Center. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck so that they can start thriving in all important areas of life. Counseling and Coaching is a second career for her. She started out in the corporate world, worked crazy hours, and had zero work-life balance. Eighteen years ago she made the decision to leave her executive position and pursue her love of human potential and personal development. After attending graduate school in Mental Health Counseling, at Montana State University, she established a private practice providing therapy to individuals and couples.
Kathryn Bowen

Kathryn (Kittie) Bowen, MS, LCPC, is the the founder and director of Bozeman Counseling Center. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck so that they can start thriving in all important areas of life. Eighteen years ago Kittie made the decision to leave her executive position and pursue her love of human potential and personal development. After attending graduate school in Mental Health Counseling, she established a private practice providing therapy to individuals and couples.

Education:
  • Undergraduate - BS in Business, Accounting, Western Washington University

  • Graduate - MS in Mental Health Counseling, Monana State University

License:
  • Montana BBH-LCPC-LIC-1579

https://www.bozemancounselingcenter.com/kathryn-bowen
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