Am I Having a Quarter Life Crisis?
Published on January 6, 2025
You can have a crisis at any point in your life. But there are some points at which it seems more common. For example, undergoing a mid-life crisis — in one’s 40s or 50s — is an accepted possibility. However, as cultural realities shift, so do pressures and stressors. This is part of what makes quarter-life crises a new turning point.
Studies have shown that more than 85 percent of millennials report feeling “existential pressure” before turning 30. It’s as if the normal timeline of expectations has jumped the tracks — leaving folks in their mid-20s to early 30s to wonder if they’re doing something wrong.
You’re “Supposed” to Be Happy?
You’re at an age when society has decided you’re still young and relatively free. This expectation can lead a person to feel guilt or shame if they’re not having fun. Let’s be clear: You can just as easily feel stuck, anxious, and stressed in your 20s as in your 50s. It’s a myth that chronological age will shield you from depression. In fact, depression diagnoses for millennials nearly doubled between 2017 and 2023.
What Factors Might Fuel a Quarter-Life Crisis
Obviously, everyone’s situation is different, but here are four elements that can complicate a young person’s life:
Where You Live: You might live with your parents and not feel great about it. Equally as stressful could be struggling to pay rent on your own or trying to get along with roommates.
Your Social Life: When you’re younger, your friend circle creates itself based on school or geography. Making friends as an adult is another story.
Work Situation: Are you working in a field you like? Do you have a clear career direction?
Romance: This may feel like a pressure cooker if your peers are buying homes or starting families.
Such factors are not necessarily new, but today’s young people have grown up online. They’ve been conditioned to compare themselves with others and experience a fear of missing out (FOMO). Digital pressure can increase the odds of a quarter-life crisis.
How Do You Know If You’re Having a Quarter-Life Crisis?
Generally speaking, there are certain red flags to watch for (see below). Pay close attention to how your mind and body react to large or sudden events, e.g., relocation, break-up, loss of a loved one, etc.
Possible Signs of a Quarter-Life Crisis
You want to change, but you lack motivation and are not sure how or where to start
Lacking self-esteem, feeling insecure, and negatively comparing yourself to others on social media
Withdrawing from socializing
Unable to sustain a romantic relationship
Experiencing conflict with the people in your life
Self-medication (drugs, alcohol, gaming, online porn, etc.)
No longer interested in activities you once enjoyed
Afraid that life is passing you by
Losing a sense of identity
3 Ways to Manage a Quarter-Life Crisis
Self-Reflection
Set aside time to reconnect to our deep self. This requires you to detach from societal norms and explore your soul. What lights you up and makes you lose track of time? Answering that question might put you on a new track.
Self-Compassion
This includes self-care. Basically, treat yourself as you’d treat a loved one who was struggling. Be patient, open-minded, and willing to ask for help.
Self-Acceptance
Get off the comparison roller coaster. Encourage others as they do their thing, and allow yourself to run your own race. Stay in touch with your wants and needs — and connect with a career or life therapist who can help you with this process.
It Doesn’t Have to Be a “Crisis”
Like everyone else, you will hit some rough patches. However, the onus is on you to identify how to get on a new track. If this feels daunting, I’d love to help.