6 Ways to Manage Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Relationships
A fear of rejection is something that drives more people than you might realize. Such rejection can arrive in many forms, but none of them feel good. In certain situations, being rejected can result in long-term fallout. Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), while not an official diagnosis, is very much a real and widespread concept. People with RSD often fear rejection to the point at which they struggle with related perceptions and emotions.
Constructive criticism can feel like a personal attack. Someone not replying to a text might feel like you’ve been abandoned at the altar. With or without an accurate assessment of what happened, people with RSD can struggle so much with their emotions that they choose to withdraw from many or most social interactions. Obviously, this can be very detrimental to your relationship.
Why Do People Have RSD?
There’s no clear cause. However, since changes in brain structure can appear like those in people with ADHD, there might be an association. What we do know is that anxiety can cause anyone to live in a state of self-consciousness — especially in the age of social media. Here’s an example of how RSD can escalate:
You may endure a genuine rejection. At work, while dating, and elsewhere, there are opportunities for others to turn you down. If this experience upsets you, it can make you feel vulnerable and judged. From there, anything that even resembles a rejection leads you to display a disproportionate reaction. Your emotions feel overwhelming and out of control. When left unchecked, these tendencies can worsen and cause negative impacts on your life — especially your relationships.
What Does Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Look and Feel Like?
Someone who might have RSD will likely present any or all of these signs:
People-pleasing
Sudden outbursts of emotions (anger, fear, sadness, etc.)
Perfectionism
All-or-nothing thought patterns
Negative self-talk
In relationships, someone with RSD may crave intimacy while fearing they will be rejected
The Impact of RSD on Your Relationships
Everyone can have moments of doubt and anxiety when in a relationship. A partner with RSD can sabotage a romantic connection by chronically worrying whether or not they are truly loved. They fear an eventual rejection and display high levels of jealousy. Behaviors like this can translate into:
Not sharing your feelings and thoughts because they might cause “trouble”
A dearth of intimacy since it may involve a higher risk of rejection
Conflict, disagreements, and growing incompatibility
Both partners feeling dissatisfied, which, ironically, makes a rejection more likely to happen
On its own, RSD does not automatically mean a relationship is doomed. With patience, honesty, and support, couples can manage this variable. However, it begins with an acceptance that a problem exists and a willingness to talk openly about it without shame or blame. Both partners are urged to practice patience when it comes to how they respond to one another. When emotional dysregulation is present, taking a pause can be a game-changer.
Also, the partner with RSD is advised to commit to a self-care regimen that includes elements like self-compassion and stress management. Take breaks from your devices. Get your sleeping, eating, and exercise habits locked into a healthy routine.
Therapy is an Ideal Choice for RSD
Anyone who vehemently fears rejection is probably experiencing some shame along with it. In the privacy of a therapy room, you can feel more free to talk about patterns that are hampering your life. Alongside an experienced relationship therapist, you can find root causes and new solutions. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive and feeling deeply, but balance is crucial. I’d love to talk more with you about this and help guide you onto a new, more self-loving path.