How to Practice Self-Compassion
From a young age, most of us are taught to extend kindness, consideration, and compassion toward others. Surprisingly, the same emphasis on showing such consideration to ourselves is often lacking, especially for those raised in abusive or unsupportive environments. Guiding individuals toward becoming more self-compassionate is a passion of mine.
What is Self-Compassion?
Derived from Buddhist psychology, self-compassion revolves around how we relate to ourselves with kindness. It's crucial to note that self-compassion or self-love should not be confused with arrogance or selfishness. In reality, arrogance and selfishness often stem from a lack of self-love. Being kind to ourselves on a daily basis involves being mindful of extending courtesy, support, and compassion inward. Unfortunately, many individuals tend to treat themselves with harsh judgment instead of compassion.
Why is it Important?
Self-compassion plays a vital role in recognizing our unconditional worth and value. It enables us to acknowledge that, while we may make poor decisions at times, it doesn't make us inherently bad people. Over the past decade, research has highlighted the correlation between self-compassion and psychological well-being. Those practicing self-compassion tend to have stronger connections with others, report higher life satisfaction, and experience less shame, anxiety, and depression.
Some clients I've worked with express fears that self-compassion might lead to a lack of accountability and negative consequences. However, understanding that practicing self-compassion can enhance productivity and foster thriving is crucial.
How to Practice Self-Compassion
Treat Yourself as You Would a Small Child
Imagine how you would treat a small child – with love, gentleness, and kindness. Extend the same care to yourself, shifting from self-judgment to self-love.
Practice Mindfulness
Become more aware of the scripts or programs running in your mind, especially those perpetuating feelings of being "bad" or "unlovable." Pause and identify whether the feeling is from your compassionate self or an ingrained program. Acknowledge and release negative scripts.
Good Will vs. Good Feelings
Self-compassion is an intentional act of kindness, not a tool to avoid emotional pain. It coexists with life's ups and downs, allowing acknowledgment of deep and rich emotional experiences.
These practices offer a starting point for cultivating self-compassion. If you're interested in exploring more about women’s issues or discussing feelings of self-rejection and judgment, please reach out. At Bozeman Counseling Center, we are here to help and discuss how cognitive-behavioral therapy can support you further.