How to Meet Someone Without Online Dating
At first glance, it may appear that no one meets potential partners the old-fashioned way anymore. But there’s plenty of fake news out there. You see, folks are not relying solely on scrolling and swiping. Real-world interactions still count for a lot, and many relationships begin as such connections did 25 years ago.
Traditional methods still have great appeal and success. They also have the added bonus of getting people off the couch and out of the house more often. What a great way to reactivate some dormant communication skills. Sometimes, that first meeting even happens organically — arising from something as original as spontaneous flirting. Let’s take a look at the still-present world of face-to-face romance.
Dating Apps Have Disadvantages
Like so much of the digital world, dating apps did not live up to their promise. They do not simplify our lives. On the contrary, online dating can be a major, time-consuming distraction. Quick side note: For the purposes of this post, we’re talking about dating to find a long-term partner.
Sure, some people are wizards when it comes to writing a profile and finding the ideal photos to convey their gifts. Far more often, the interactions on dating apps are superficial. We’re conditioned to make swift decisions and thus could swipe away a potential match because a quick view does not capture someone’s beauty or personality. There’s literally no way a surface-level scroll can do justice to the complex characters we all are.
No one should settle when it comes to relationships, but the design of dating apps facilitates a judgmental mindset. We expect to be blown away in a few seconds and choose not to activate enough patience to truly assess the human on the other end of this digital connection. A big reason for this is volume. It’s overwhelming to have so many choices. This leads to skewed perceptions and expectations. There’s simply not enough information to make a decision as important as this.
How to Meet Someone Without Online Dating
It can be enlightening to talk to happy couples and ask how they met. You’ll likely be surprised to learn how seemingly random their stories may appear. Here are just a few of the old-school ways in which your soul mate may be found:
Classes of all kinds — from healthy cooking to spin class to arts, dance, and beyond.
Clubs of all kinds, e.g., books and reading, hiking, Bible study, cultural and language exchanges, board games, trivia nights, etc.
Volunteer work provides support for those in need, offers you the infamous “helper’s high,” and positions you alongside kind souls you may have never met elsewhere.
There are settings you use almost every day that can be conducive to striking up a conversation, for example, dog parks, public transportation, coffee shops, gyms, farmer’s markets, and more.
Besides the above examples, you can be more assertive by taking specific steps to be around new faces with whom you will likely share some interests. Look into art gallery openings, open mic readings, and bookstore events in your neck of the woods. Another tried and true option involves asking trusted friends and family members to play Cupid.
Detach From the Online Mindset
What all of the above options have in common is a desire to take a chance. Online, we scroll incessantly and are so quick to delete or block social media “friends.” This can set us up to become wary, impatient, and frankly, anti-social. Taking yourself offline for a while can help you return to a more open-minded default setting. If this sounds easier said than done, let’s connect and talk about the possibilities. Reach out to learn more about relationship therapy.