4 Signs of Unhealed Attachment Trauma
Published on July 22, 2024
Ideally, we’d all be raised in an environment that offers safety, nurturing, and reliable support. To grow up in a foundation like this enables a child to grow up with a secure attachment style. In other words, they develop positive social skills to feel confident as they navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Unfortunately, many children have parents or caretakers who neglect them. They display unpredictable and even abusive behaviors. Such a scenario can result in attachment trauma. If left untreated and unhealed, attachment trauma can haunt your adult life. Therefore, it’s crucial that we learn how to recognize the signs and red flags.
What Causes Attachment Trauma?
The answer can vary from person to person. After all, trauma is frequently in the eye of the beholder/survivor. That said, the causes of attachment trauma typically arise from some basic roots. Some of these causes are circumstantial; others are deliberate. For example:
Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
Having one’s basic needs and feelings be ignored, neglected, or perhaps not even acknowledged
The loss of a parent or caretaker from events like death, divorce, incarceration, etc.
Growing up in a household impacted by domestic violence, substance abuse, criminal activities, and more
When the child, a sibling, or a parent is affected by illness, injury, or disability
Lack of boundaries
Parents or caretakers are very controlling
The child is forced to assume the role of an adult to help manage the dysfunction
Of course, other variables exist, and many factors can overlap. But this list gives you a basic idea of the traumatic triggers.
4 Signs of Unhealed Attachment Trauma
1. Classic Signs of Trauma
There are many types of trauma, but all of them have some commonalities when it comes to symptoms. Therefore, unhealed attachment trauma will most likely present signs like hyper-vigilance, intrusive thoughts, guilt and shame, low tolerance for stress, and ongoing relationship problems. Symptoms like this can be parsed out by a trauma-informed therapist.
2. Dissociation
Attachment trauma can result in survivors being unable to trust others. As a way of being placed in a position of vulnerability, you might emotionally shut down. Dissociation may have become your coping mechanism of choice during childhood. As an adult, however, self-numbing will not help you heal wounds from the past.
3. Withdrawal
A corollary to sign #2 above involves self-isolation and self-controlling. Being at the mercy of others as a child left many scars because your needs were not met. In adulthood, you’re lured into pushing others away. After all, the thinking goes, if you can control all that happens to you, trauma will not happen again. People with attachment trauma often get labeled “control freaks” and “loners.”
4. Unexplained Chronic Physical and/or Psychological Symptoms
Living a self-controlling life of hyper-vigilance will require that you suppress many of your emotions. However, these feelings will emerge — one way or another. For example, someone with unhealed attachment trauma may struggle with fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, digestive disturbances, and unexplained bodily pain.
On a parallel track, they may also experience psychological signs like anxiety, depression, angry outbursts, mood swings, impulsivity, and general sadness.
Can We Heal From Attachment Trauma?
The short answer is yes, and trauma-focused therapy is an excellent choice for the treatment of unfair events imposed upon you during childhood. You can thrive again. You can teach self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-love to the frightened child inside you. It’s not a linear process, but you can carve out a new path to meaningful relationships, strong boundaries, and finding ways to trust others. No one deserves to have attachment trauma, but everyone can heal. Contact our office today to start that journey.